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Free Nate Newton Fantasy Football League |
| Fear Itself | 
Date Fri Sep 18 12:31:16 a.m. ET 2009
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| While Terry has started a "guru poll," I'm guessing we all miss the weekly Guru column formerly written by Randy. While I cannot match the historical perspective, wit or Jayson Blair-like "player interviews" Randy use to conduct, I'll aim for a level of "smart-assitude" and analysis that hopefully will entertain ("double your money back if you're not completely satisfied"). On to the week #2 match-ups: Bird Brains Vs. The Meat Curtain: Let me tell you what I DON'T like about Fred's team. He overpaid for WR Roy Williams, and TE Kellen Winslow a Keeper --- really?? Otherwise, he has put together a well-balanced team that is an early favorite to make it to the Free Nate 8 Bowl. The Rivers/Schaub QB combo is the 2nd best in the league (after Brees/Romo) and despite a tough match-up vs. the Ravens and Titans will outscore Rich's One-And-A-Half QB's Rodgers/Hasslebeck combo, although it will be close, with favorable match-ups for Rich. I'm not convinced Hasslebeck's Wk. 1 performance was anything more than a match-up victory. With Hightower showing he can catch Warner's dump offs, I like Fred's 3-headed RB of MJD/Kevin Smith/Timmy! more than Rich's collection. Although I like Gore to bounce back from his 1.3 YPC last week, I'm not convinced Julius Jones is a legitimate threat yet (Geez, I'm sounding anti-Seahawk aren't I?), and "Beanie" isn't ready to take over yet. Rumors of locker room tension persist for the Bird Brains, as the still bitter split in the(Michael) Bush/(Frank)Gore camps remain from the 2000 election. Despite a who-knows-what's-up with Brandon Marshall and a banged-up Anquan, I slighty like Rich's WR's over Fred's. A disaster in the Carolina QB position doesn't bode well for Steve Smith, and Roy Willaims (NYG) and Hines Ward (@Chi.) have tough match-ups. Throw in a good TE Cooley game vs. the Rams in Rich's favor as well. Seriously Fred, benching Steve Smith for Donnie Avery in D.C. What do you know that I don't? In the "intangibles" category: For years, I told Kathy about (and had to explain to her the meanings of) all the creative re-names Fred had devised. Upon seeing him at the draft, she said there was NO WAY she would ever have guessed that Fred was the one coming up with those "colorful"  names. Verdict: In essence, Fred's appearance helped him "fly under the radar," and in a game with Rich, that's enough to carry him to victory over the Bird Brains! C'Ville Survivors Vs. Randy's Dandies: Randy is a fool...and a TOTAL GENIUS! With his 3-stud corps of the Johnson brothers (Andre and Calvin) and Larry Fitz., he is sure to win the WR Roto category every week. Oh wait, we play head-to-head, not Roto! Screw that strategy. Still, by voluntarily keeping his re-name, he is taunting the league. "What do I care if I lose, I've already got a shitty name. How ya' gonna make it worse?" He has nothing to lose by losing, so lose he shall! On a regular basis. Fun fact: Last week, from the safety on my own couch, with a fractured leg, I OUTSCORED his starting QB duo of DelHomme and Stafford 0.000 to -0.100 (feel free to start me this week Randy, as I promise a similar result). Nothing wrong with starting a rookie QB (right Flacco and Ryan owners), but drafting all 3 QB first-rounders with JeMarcus and Jake to mentor/back them up??? Must have been drafting in a Ladyboy Surprise-induced fog. Dean's Warner/Palmer duo, battered as they are, will still outplay whoever Randy starts. Note to Randy: Ronnie Brown (Wk. #1 - 43 rush yds)...not that good yet. While you'll inevitably entice an RB out of someone with a need for one of your QB's, till then you lose the RB match-up every week. Dean's Rice/Williams/Grant trio should give him a 25 pt. advantage in the RB category. Randy's WR corps will dominate most weeks, but Dean's Moss/Crayton/Gage gang should keep the difference respectable. Verdict: In a low-scoring match-up, Dean will help Randy's Dandies get that much closer... to remaining Randy's Dandies(sheer genius!). Ladyboy Surprise Vs. Amish Justice: On Vince's squad, only TE Carlson had a real breakout game in Wk. #1 (23.5 pts.), but it's balanced enough to knock off Ladyboy Surprise. Mark dominates the QB match-up, as Brady studliness and Campbell's favorable Rams' match-up will out duel Vince's Brett "My job is to hand-off to Adrian" Favre and Chad Pennington combo. But in RB's, Vince will romp-n-stomp. With the best duo RB value in the league ($38 for Turner and Forte), and LenDale vulturing CJ's TD's, Mark can't hope to compete with some combination of Sproles (vs. Balt.), L. Wash. and Kevin Faulk. Until Lynch finishes his suspension and LT proves 30 is the new 24 for RB's, Mark's team is going to struggle in this category. Fun fact #2: Mark's entire WR corps of 7 players is salaried ($14) at slightly over half of T.J. Whose-Your-Momma's salary ($22). Imagine if you could set your line-ups based on salary considerations alone! Mark could start 3 DeSean Jacksons, 2 Donald Drivers and 2 Laurent Robinsons against 1 T.J. Houshmandzedah. That'd give him a chance! Till then, Vince's Roddy/T.J./Welker squad should out-point whoever Mark throws out, even with Witten in the mix. Verdict: The Amish will mete out their disapproval of any kind of surprise, let alone one with "Crying Game" overtones, and dispense Justice in the form of another "L" for Mark. Sumthin' 'bout Brett Vs. Purple Sunday: The most even-matched game of the week that could go either way. I give a slight edge to Terry's Cutler (he CAN'T be as bad as he showed Wk. #1)/Eli QB combo over Liz's Flacco/Edwards pair. Even as a Redskin fan, I think Terry overpaid for Portis, but this wk. he's got a dream match-up vs. the Rams. I don't think Jamal Lewis will make it to mid-season as the Browns' starter, but vs. Denver, he's good for another week. Liz has Joseph "Live and Let" Addai going for her. And while I would **HATE** to see anything happen to him (as a Donald Brown owner), he is the dominant half of Indy's RBBC now. When we go to a 5 Point PPR league, Reggie Bush becomes a true stud, but for now he (vs. a stout Philly Defense) and Thomas Jones (vs. N.E.) don't quite have the favorable match-ups Terry's RB's do. The WR match-up is a toss-up. VJax has the Ravens, but Berrian (Lions) and, I'm guessing here, Santana Moss (Rams) have very favorable defenses to play against. Terry's Holmes/Bennett play vs. each other, and T.O. needs to rebound from his non-performance vs. the Patriots. I'll give this category to Liz based on the match-ups. Verdict: Liz learns there's Sumthin' 'bout Being Tied for 2nd Place as Purple Sunday rises to a 115 - 105ish victory. Whitecaps Vs.Lindy Hoppers: With the preeminent combo of "Trew Bromo," Matt's going to dominate the QB match-up every week. Jeff's hurting at QB with McNabb down (you may want to see who Randy has available as his Blue Light QB special this week; I hear he loves him some Willie Parker!)and will need to find someone to pair with Brady Quinn. Big advantage Matt. I see Matt doesn't want to guess the winner of the Thomas/Bell starting sweepstakes in N.O., but his RB combo looks good with 2 good match-ups (McFadden vs. Chiefs and F. Jackson vs. Bills) and 1 bad (Redskins shut down Steven Jackson!). Playing it safe, Matt picks up the Skins DEF to win one side of that match-up. Jeff's strength is also at RB. Who doesn't love Chris Johnson (is he the one called "Every Coaches Dream"?); I mean other than LenDale? Slaton isn't in a RBBC, and Moreno will take over the Bronco backfield eventually. So Jeff can match Matt here - I'm calling this category a draw. At WR, I love Greg Jennings against the Bengals this week. Braylon disappointed in Wk. 1, but will help to neutralize any Brady-mania; I mean who else is Quinn going to throw to? Jeff trots out a strong Wayne/Colston combo (although Marques was far down the list of Brees' targets last week, so he won't offset Drew the way Braylon does), so I give him a slight edge in this category. Verdict: This week, no McNabb means no win for Jeff. Fear Itself Vs. War Eagles: Analyzing your own team is always the hardest. F.I. is top-heavy in studs(Peterson and Manning), while scratching and clawing at the WR position for starters (curses to you Matt!, for bidding up Harvin and making me plow thru the waiver wire for my WR3 - God help me when the Bye weeks start). Still, historically I do well against Brian, and somehow that's gotta factor in. I'm gonna give the QB match-up to Brian, as I l-o-v-e Matt Ryan's match-up against Carolina, and Big Ben is not gonna disappoint against Chicago, as he is still pissed Jeff didn't love him enough to keep him and will show the whole world Jeff was wrong! P. Manning is very reliable, but without "the other" Tony Gonzalez he's down a weapon. Orton actually out-pointed Peyton last wk., but oh yeah, that was only because of a miracle finish. Can't count on that every week. I couldn't ask for a better game for Peterson that the Lions, but he can't match last week's performance in Clev. and is bound to come back down to earth. Hopefully, Marion Barber steps it up. As the commercial goes, "What can Brown do for you?" How about more than 33 yds. rushing this week, Donald? I have to admit, I probably have an irrational dislike of Brian Westbrook. Never owned him any league in the 14 yrs. I've played fantasy football. He just doesn't scare me. Yeah, I know, that's bound to bite me in the ass soon. Still, against an improved Saints DEF he shouldn't bust out. Brandon Jacobs and Cedric Benson are mid-level backs without great match-ups, so AP carries me to victory in this category for another week. No one really jumps out as a break-out WR for either one of this week. Bowe has a tough Ravens match-up; the Vikings are using Harvin in creative ways, but will be enough in game #2 of his career to make a difference?; Bess should be adequate as WR3 in our 1/3 PPR league. For Brian, Evans has a favorable match-up vs. Tampa, Walter has a tough Titans game, and Royal will have to survive an ordinary Orton throwing to him. I call this category a toss-up, with any breakout WR's being the difference in this match-up. Verdict: The web site's "point spread" (does anybody know what that's based on?) started out this week with me as a 73-point favorite(!) and I was thinking "Can I make it to Vegas in time to double-down on the War Eagles taking the points??" Alas, the spread has shrunk to "only" 42 pts. I'll take Fear Itself to win, but in a much closer game. Final Predictions: Re-Name Victims: Randy, Mark Playoff Teams: Fred, Matt, Vince, Dean, Jeff, Chris Free Nate 8: The Meat Curtain VS. Lindy Hoppers If this hasn't convinced Randy how much we need HIM back to write our Guru column, I don't know what will! |
| Commissioner |
Date Fri Sep 18 9:42:07 a.m. ET 2009
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| Good stuff although I could do without the image of Mark weeping in the shower. |
| Whitecaps |
Date Sat Sep 19 11:50:54 a.m. ET 2009
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|  Much appreciated!!! Really enjoyed it....keep up the good work.
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| Ladyboy Surprise |
Date Mon Sep 21 7:30:45 p.m. ET 2009
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| Good read, thanks for doing it! Now the prognosticating skills....lol |