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Free Nate Newton Fantasy Football League |
| Fear Itself | 
Date Fri Oct 16 11:24:03 p.m. ET 2009
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| No, it isn't by 'popular demand.'  Not my outstanding track record at prognostication either (as witnessed by my 3rd place showing in Terry's pool this season)  . No, this is simply a plea to have the original Guru column come back, by demonstrating what y'all have to put up with till Randy ends his boycott and STARTS WRITING THIS COLUMN AGAIN! As BYE weeks are in full effect, let's see who is helped/hurt the most by them in Week #6:The Meat Curtain vs. Sumthin' 'bout Brett: I think I've made it clear that I'm a Big Fan of The Meat Curtain by now. Balance is the key to victory in this league, and Fred has it. No longer does he simply try to crush opponents; remember the days when he tried to bludgeon people with his L. Tomlinson-S. Alexander RB duo that took up 2/3rds of his salary cap? As Drew Brees continues his TD pass boycott and T. Romo turns out out to be 'who we thought he was'  (i.e., turnover-prone, can't win a playoff game QB), Fred now has the league's best QB duo in Rivers/Schaub. Forced to start Trent Edwards this wk., Liz doesn't have a prayer in the QB category. She loses 2 of her Colts (Addai, D. Clark) to BYES, while Fred doesn't lose anyone of significance. T.Hightower WOULD HAVE BEEN SBB's #2 RB this week, had she kept him, but instead will be playing for Fred. With MJD's match-up vs. the pathetic Rams and SBB's presumptive RB1 R.Bush getting the Jints, I see domination for TMC in the running game as well. I like Santana Moss to have a good game vs. the 'Chefs' (anyone remember that Snickers commercial?), so maybe SBB can eke out a win in the WR category (esp. with Steve 'Carolina' Smith having a poor season).Verdict: All who dare enter The Meat Curtain will taste defeat! Besides, I don't like all the punctuation typing Sumthin' 'bout Brett requires - Fred wins! Randy's Dandies vs. Amish Justice: I would like to point out that Randy should have started ME at QB last weekend over JaMarcus Russell (could it be the last name that attracted Randy so much to J-Rus, hmmmm?). From the safety of my couch, I had ZERO fumbles, and was not sacked even once (as opposed to 6 for J-Rus), thoroughly outperforming JaMarcus 0.000 to -2.167. Let that be a lesson to you Randy, and Jeff too (yep, I had a better game than Derek Anderson as well; 2-for-17, and you're starting this guy??). As for this week's game, Randy is hurt by BYES and injury, while Vince remains unscathed. In Green Bay, I'm confident Culpepper is capable of putting up very Russell-like numbers, requiring San-chise to put up very big #'s in Buffalo to give Randy a chance in this category. I'll take AJ's Favre/J. Johnson to win the QB category. RD also loses a 'very good this year' Ronnie Brown to the bye, forcing a J. Jones/C. Williams backfield for RD. Meanwhile, AJ matches Forte vs. Turner in Atlanta. Although they are only RB's #12 and #26 overall, this wk., that's enough to win. AJ loses no WRs this week, and can trot out some combination of Housh./White/Welker/Knox. RD loses Ginn (bye), and possibly Calvin Johnson (injury), making this the rare wk. he doesn't dominate in the WR category. Verdict: While Randy proves he has the bigger Johnson this week (6'5" Calvin vs. 6'3" Josh for Vince), AJ continues its 2-game winning streak. Bird Brains vs. Whitecaps: I would like to point out to Jeff that I, Christopher Rowe, am available on the waiver wire and will likely perform better than either Cleveland QB vs. Pittsburgh this weekend. Think about picking me up as your QB #2 before Anderson has another 2-for-17 day  Could McNabb be shut down for Vick (fingers croseed, hoping, hoping)if Philly builds a big lead, the way Eli was last week against Oakland? Even if not, BB's QBs figure to have a better day. Rodgers gets Detroit, and Hasslebeck the 32nd-ranked passing defense of Arizona. Big advantage, Rich. The running game is where "W" (may I abbreviate your team that way Jeff?, or are the liberals in the audience still afraid of that letter) really has the advantage. With Rich obviously scrambling at the stroke of noon simply to beat me out of this week's RB41 in Larry Johnson (bitter? why yes, I believe I am jealous that Rich's fingers could stroke the keyboard quicker than mine this afternoon) so he can field 2 RBs this week, W has a huge advantage. I like Mendenhall to have a big game vs. Clev., and Moreno to start to take control of the Denver backfield. I can't see Rich's backfield getting more than 15 pts. between them. Jeff's RBs may be able to offset Rich's advantage at QB. With Jeff trying to corner the market on Indy WRs (Note: Hank Baskett - still available!), their BYE hurts his WR corps, while Rich loses no one. Easy call for the Bird Brains, who can go with Boldin/Marshall/85 and Steve "not the Other" Smith. While Colston is solid for Jeff, he's got a tough Giants DEF this week, and Chris Henry merely leads the league in pre-season hype and FNN jersey nominations. Not good for Jeff. Verdict: I look at the match-ups and byes. I see Rich and his Bird Brains have clear adavntages in 2-of-3 categories, but my gut just says...Whitecaps upset! Fear Itself vs. Ladyboy Surprise: Famous dates in 'Ladyboy Surprise,' history. 1992 - the movie "The Crying Game" is released, and U.S. audiences make their first acquaintance with a form of 'Ladyboy Surprise'. May 1997 - Eddie Murphy makes a fateful decision to help a 'woman' in distress and winds up the subject of tabloid headlines as he 'befriends' a transvestite hooker. June 2009 - The death of actor David Carradine in Bangkok is attributed to two Thai Ladyboys: http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/carradines-producer-pal-blames-lady-boys-for-murder_1106868 October 2009 - And in what may be the greatest moment in Ladyboy Surprise history, Mark's team upsets the Undefeated Fear Itself  Sure, BYES happen to everyone. Their predictable. But sometimes, even an unblemished team cannot overcome them, and goes down to defeat. While LS loses only TE Jason Witten, FI loses QB1 (P. Manning) + QB3 (C. Henne), along with RB2 (M. Barber)+ RB3 (D. Brown). When you're looking at Michael Vick and Justin Fargas as potential starters, you know your team is in trouble! Meanwhile, Mark has a rejuvenated Tom Brady against a pathetic Titans secondary, and even Jason Campbell will have a big day vs. the Chiefs. Oh well, at least Adrian Peterson is playing for FI. Let's see who the Vikings have...CRAP, the Ravens run defense! Chalk up a victory for LS in the RB category. WRs, the weakness for both teams, are equally unimpressive. Mark has upgraded from the previous $14 line-up he had earlier in the season. But even Torry Holt vs. his old team, Donald Driver vs. Detroit, and DeSean Jackson are not a line-up that inspires Fear. The usual M.O. of my team is to have Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson crush the opposition, and hope my WRs can not suck enough to pull out the victory. This week, that strategy doesn't work. Bowe faces a tough Skins secondary, and Harvin is a game-time decision - not good. Verdict: Sometimes, you have to recognize that though your team may win against the opposition 12 out of 13 times, this is the week they don't. Ladyboy Surprises the oddsmakers who made them 19 pt. underdogs, and comes away with the Victory. Lindy Hoppers vs. Purple Sunday: There should be a category in our game for something like "Best Weekly Pick-Up" or even 'Moral Victory.' In which case I want to give that award to Matt for last week. He thought he was getting MILES Austin, but it was more like STEVE Austin ("The 6 Million Dollar Man" - anybody remember that TV show?). To get 90 pts. from your WRs, 65 of them off the waiver wire (M. Austin + A. Collie), deserves a win. But no, up against an insane Amish Justice scoring spree, it was not to be. So Matt, add a 3rd column to the "W's" and "L's", label it "MV", and put a "1" in there for yourself- you deserve it for last week, showing us how to play this game! This week's match-up is trickier. Matt is down a QB (T. Romo) to a BYE, and it doesn't look like Vince Young is getting the Titans' start just yet. And D. Brees faces a tough Giants DEF. With PS's D. Garrard facing the feckless Rams, and Cutler in Atlanta, the QB category easily goes to Terry. At RB, LH are forced to use both ends of the P. Thomas/M.Bell RB duo of the Saints. I never like using 2 RBs from the same club (ignore the fact that I had to do it myself this week due to BYE-mania), but along with S. Jackson, this still tops the McGahee/Portis combo. Willis is losing touches to Ray Rice, and faces the "Williams Wall" in Minnesota, so I don't like him for anything more than a goal-line TD. Poor as the Chiefs are, I think Portis topped out last wk. with his 2 TDs vs. the Panthers; probably not due for another multi-TD game. Advantage Matt. Let's just say it now: Terry overpaid ($31) for T.O. So much so, that he can't even crack PS's 3WR/3TE line-up. B. Edwards seem rejuvenated (but then who wouldn't, after getting out of Cleveland) on Mon. night, so you gotta like him in a match-up with Buffalo. Donald Driver is also due for a good game vs. the Lions. I'm not a fan of the 3 TE line-up (don't think I've ever used it). Other then the potential for S. Holmes to have a good game vs. the Browns, I don't see big points coming from PS's receiving corps. Advantage Lindy Hoppers. Verdict: One of my previous columns called Purple Sunday, a solid middle-of-the-road team, which generated a little of the spark we need in this league when Randy and Terry had some good back-and-forth over that statement (come on fellow FNNers, let's get VOCAL in this league!). I see Purple Sunday starting to fall into mediocrity now. This week will be a real chance to get back to .500, but I see Lindy Hoppers pulling this one out to make the Trunk Full O' Weed division competitive again (don't worry Matt and Jeff, my teams always nose-dive as the season progresses). War Eagles (don't get too attached to that name, Brian) vs. C'Ville Survivors (or you, Dean): A battle of cellar-dwellers that really puts the loser in a vulnerable re-naming position. B. Roethlisberger, motivated at being jilted by brother Jeff, has put up the 2nd best fantasy QB numbers. Vs. the Browns, I don't see that changing. Coupled with M. Ryan, Brian has a strong QB duo. C.Palmer and Warner have been respectable for Dean, but just a notch below Brian's pairing. I like Big Ben's match-up enough to give Brian the QB category, but not by a blow-out. Why Brian is starting Westbrook over McCoy and Jacobs over Bradshaw is beyond me (maybe the news has reached his destination yet? Ahmad Bradshaw 110 yds, 2 TDs last week); it's time to make the switches. Yet paired with a surprisingly effective C. Benson, his backfield looks respectable. Dean counters with Top 5 RB R. Rice, but he gets the Vikings 'Williams Wall' this week. I'm not sold on R. Grant, but I like the match-up vs. Detroit, and if DeAngelo is the Carolina back to use (not Stewart?), big potential vs. Tampa Bay. I give Dean this category until Brian starts the right RBs. The WR match-up is the dregs of the league. Brian may have picked up a hot receiver after one good week, but a Sims-Walker/Massaquoi(withot Braylon, he's not a threat)/B. Johnson trio just won't won't cut in, unless you can mix-n-match their past previous best weeks (i.e., Johnson wk.3, Massaquoi and Sims-Walker, wk.4). At least CS has R. Moss going against a wounded and ineffective Titans' secondary for potential huge points. Based on that alone, advantage Dean. Verdict: Just as unbeaten teams will lose this weekend, winless teams will taste victory. Brian gets his first "W." POLL QUESTION: OK, after 6 to 8 years, we have all seen what kinds of re-names losing teams can get saddled with. So, is there any Re-name that you would consider TOO offensive to be used, or is everything fair game? I AM NOT looking for examples, just curious if there is anything you consider out-of-bounds. Especially curious what Fred thinks on this question. |
| Commissioner |
Date Sat Oct 17 10:45:12 a.m. ET 2009
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| Good stuff again, Chris, and I'm not just saying that because you picked me to win. I'm having a hard time seeing my team top 70 points this week. |
| Bird Brains |
Date Sun Oct 18 10:45:02 a.m. ET 2009
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| Ha ha, Chris has picked against me every time. I hope you are wrong and we both win and are both 6-0 for next week. Fun read, please keep it up. |
